I kicked around a few different titles for this post (Wiitarded, Wiigretable, etc). They basically are all just a wiiflection of my thoughts about the new Nintendo Wii. Originally titled the considerably cooler "Nintendo Revolution," the Wii is the latest in a long line of decisions by Nintendo that I just simply don't understand.
Before we chat, watch Nintendo's promotional introductory video into the World of Wii:
Okay. Now, notice anything dumb about that thing? Absolutely every game on there has the player Vogueing this pose:
What the eff, Nintendo?
I know that everyone has had that moment in life when you're sitting in front of your TV, you point the remote at it, and nothing happens. What do you do? You extend your arm out in front of you and get annoyed. No one likes to do that for more than a few seconds at most. Somehow, someone at Nintendo has decided that this is a good posture with which to tackle a 100+ hour RPG. In fact, I think I know who that someone is. I'm pretty sure it's the same sadistic fuck who designed the Nintendo Powerglove. I see wiimarkable similarities.
Well, news flash, Nintendo: your Power Glove didn't change the way we play games, and I don't think the Wii will either. I used to be a really big Nintendo fan. The Wii, however, marks my official "not on-board" status with them.
I'm just so not on-board anymore.