Monday, September 29, 2008

i'll bring 'em to ya

There's a site called that takes generic questions similar to those asked my Katie Couric in her interview with Sarah Palin and generates randomized answers in the style of The Governor's answers.

Here's my favorite so far:

Q: What is your foreign policy experience?

I said to him was, if you go back in history and if you really think I can give you examples of things that John McCain has done, that has to exercise all options out there on the side of the earth. It is obvious to me who the bad guys are. The bad guys are the good guys. Through reform, absolutely. Look at the oversight that has much to do things better. But it is the taxpayers looking to bail out. But ultimately what the bailout does is help those who are concerned about the need to reform government. We have got to remember what the desire is in this one and who the good guys.

Friday, September 26, 2008

my ancestors' legacy

Brief history lesson: In 1687, two brothers named George and Michael Harland landed in New Castle, Delaware and began the Harland/Harlan/Harlin family's colonization of America. From those two original Harlands, the Harland/Harlan/Harlin family spread out throughout the country, carrying with it three different last names since illiteracy was rampant and spelling more of a luxurious hobby than a necessity in those days.

Among the various tendrils of our ancestors that fanned out across the West was Silas Harlan, a hunter, trapper, and soldier for the Revolutionary Army, who founded Harlan's Station in what would later be named after him in Harlan County, Kentucky.

Fast forward two hundred and thirty years to this video, filmed on location in Harlan County, Kentucky.

So, I guess you can blame Ry and I if you want. And I know you will.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

earth's population is up by one

Well, probably lots more than one. But only one that matters as far as I'm concerned. Yesterday, friends of Amanda and I had their baby, the adorable little baby Lucy, and today Amanda and I got to stop by the hospital for a visit.

As we were walking up to the maternity ward, I had this small voice in my head that just kept saying:

don't break the baby don't break the baby don't break the baby don't break the baby don't break the baby don't break the baby don't break the baby don't break the baby don't break the baby don't break the baby don't break the baby don't break the baby don't break the baby don't break the baby don't break the baby don't break the baby don't break the baby don't break the baby

So, when we got in there and I didn't know how to hold her, that made me nervous. When I handed her to someone and didn't support her neck well enough, that freaked me out. Then when I held her a second time, she threw up. So ... I know it's not my fault. But the joke then quickly became "Great, Jess. You broke her." To which the voice in my head began freaking out a bit.

I remember when I was 13 and was watching my baby sister while no one else was home. I took her out of her playpen and accidentally bonked her head in the process. I was convinced that I had just ruined her somehow that wouldn't be apparent until she was about 18 months older and people started to realized that she couldn't read/walk/spell/whatever.

I have irrational fears.

Monday, September 22, 2008

someone explain this to me

For two years, Amanda and I have been trying to buy a house. We saved our money. We hung up the phone on the predatory lender who asked Amanda if someone at work could fraudulently sign something claiming that she made twice her actual salary. We did budgets. We worked with a financial advisor. We worked with a mortgage broker and three real estate agents.

We were careful. Slow. Deliberate.

Where did that get us? Nowhere. No house.

Now the financial markets are tanking and taxpayers are going to be made to pick up the tab.

Rather than living in our own cautiously bought home, Amanda and I are going to be made to help foot the bill for all of the a-holes who were stupid, careless, greedy, etc. And we still don't have a house of our own.

What is the impact on taxpayers going to be? How is it going to affect me and my wife? Why do the careful and intelligent have to fix things for the stupid and reckless?

Thursday, September 11, 2008


I find myself obsessively checking left-wing political blogs in the wake of the political conventions. The side effect? Rage. Anger. The physical manifestations of the "if you're not angry, you're not paying attention" bumper sticker.

I've been obsessively checking forums and reviews for the public's response to The Force Unleashed. If a comment is negative, I find myself instantly defensive. Yes, there are plenty of positive comments too, but the negative ones are the ones that stick with me.

I've been obsessively reading online about the shrinking middle class in California due to the crazy cost of living. I keep checking on the health of the mortgage industry, the banks, the rapidly falling price of oil but slowly slumping price of gas, and the soaring stock prices of oil companies that goes along with it all.

I want to relax. I need to relax. Apparently the advent of the Internet has brought with it a million little points of rage into my computer and over the last few weeks I seem unable to look away.

Monday, September 08, 2008

english is dumb

Hey, how come "publicly" ends with just an "ly" while "domestically" ends with "ally"? No one says "do-mes-tic-ah-ly." English is stupid.