up next: diaper commercials

Alright, everyone. Here's the new fall wardrobe that you'll see everyone sporting around the country this year.

Why? Because we're back-sliding so ridiculously far into some hypocritical moralistic mania that it won't be long before we're all wearing buckle shoes and calling our neighbors "witches."

Want an example? Okeedokee.

Apparently, I must have missed the memo that went out that said "Hey! Coppertone Sun Screen!! First my kids were effed up by seeing Janet Jackson's boob!! Now they're squarely on a path to hell for having seen the Coppertone Girl's bare ass!!!"

Everyone knows this logo:



But, you know what? Apparently that little girl's decades old wardrobe malfunction is messing up the moral fiber of our country. Guess who the latest victim of censorship is?



That's right! It's little Coppertone herself. It's a small pic and might be hard to see. If you're having trouble, gone is the little girl's butt and it's been replaced with a playful tug on the leg of her swimsuit by her dog.

To me, this is Lame with a Capital "screw you, Coppertone." But, in the interest of simply cutting to the chase and not wasting all of our time - Coppertone, please let me be the first to suggest your next logo: