Thursday, June 23, 2005

tying one on

I hate tying my shoes. Hate it. If it were socially acceptible for anyone under the age of 80 to wear velcro, I would. Mainly it all stems from my extreme disgust for knotting and unknotting shoelaces. Over the years, I've tried numerous ways around it.

- Slipping my shoes on while still tied (result: painful, ruined the heels of the shoe)
- Checkerboard Lacing (result: loose fit, annoying loose ends of the laces)
- Velcro (result: bliss mixed with a decline in social standing)
- Flip flops (nope)
- Sandals (see: Velcro above)

Anyway, I got some Blackspot Sneakers from by brother as a christmas present and I love them. I love their look. I love their comfort. I love their concept and ideology.

But I swear ... I hate their freakin' laces. Every day, I grumble about having to tie them.

But not anymore! (Cue Ronco music) Amanda taught me how to tie my shoes with The Fireman's Knot. A quick googling of the name turns up only some kind of Boy Scout knot used to rescue people from mountains or some such crap. Anyway, that knot is totally useless.

The one that Amanda taught me, however, rocks my world like a hurricane. No longer do I find myself nawing on my knotted shoelaces like some kind of animal in a pathetic attempt to untie them without fingernails. It's just so freakin' great!

I was going to try and give instructions on how to tie it, but you know what? It's really difficult to try and describe how to tie a shoe.

For example:

"1. Take one lace in each of your hands. Cross them, then loop one under the other as is the normal way to begin tying shoes."

Now, maybe I'm just bad at describing it, but I'm giving up and I'll have to just travel the country showing people how to tie it and spreading the gospel. Next time you see me, if you care, ask me and I'll show you.


rooni said...

"I told you so!"

EmoRiot said...

1.) Velcro is socially acceptable in that ironic, "yeah I'm wearing velcro. it's so lame, it's cool." kind of way.

2.) I own Blackspots and slip them on and off everyday... no issues.

Your a tough-to-please shoe guy, I think. That being said, I love knots that sound tough. Fireman's knot... Racecar Driver Knot... Fire-eater knot... nun chuck skills... sweet computer hacking skills...

sorry, i slipped into napolean dynamite.

Bug said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Bug said...

Yeah. I would so tie my shoes with a ninja knot if it existed.

And yes, I'm just generally a tough guy to please when it comes to shoes.

By the way, I totally dig the remix. : ) Not a cool as the original. But I like it.