Thursday, June 09, 2005

found 'em

I was watching the Today Show this morning as I sorted some laundry and a commercial came on that made my eyes bug out.

Aspercreme is a numbing old person ointment used to make being old suck a little less than it normally does. Old people + The Today Show = perfect target audience.

But, it was the jingle and tag line for the commercial that was so surprising. Here they are showing old people rubbing ointment on themselves and then all the sudden this ridiculous jingle comes on that sings:

You bet your sweet ASS-percreme!

I was so surprised. I mean, seriously ... that's the best they could come up with?

Well anyway, I thought it was ridiculous and hopped onto Google so that I could try and find the jingle online to share with you guys. Instead, I found the whiners who are ruining America.

It's a forum for parents.com where parents whine and complain about ads that they think the FCC should turn its fiery vengence upon. What I find so ridiculous is that when I was a kid, the biggest threat to my young ears and innocent sensibilities wasn't movies, wasn't tv, wasn't magazines or radio or billboards.

It was the other kids on the school bus. That's where I learned every single swear word, every rude gesture, and every racial, sexist, or homophobic slur under the sun. Usually it went something like this:

Dave Labarcca: Hey, Jesse. Do you know what a "circle jerk" is?
Little Jesse: [lying ridiculously] Yeah. Of course I do.
Dave Labarcca: Well, what is it then?
[cue giggling from the group of trolls at the back of the bus]
Little Jesse: Um. [awkward pause] Well, I used to know. But I just forgot.

Anyway, the media isn't the problem. The bus is.

If they really want to protect their kids, they should just drive them to school.

8 comments:

ceymick said...

Hey Jesse. Do you know what a "houdini" is?

EmoRiot said...

I know what it is, Ceymick. Why don't you tell us so we know YOU know what it is? :\

Bug said...

...

I used to know.

ceymick said...

Man, I should pull a Labarca and just kick you both in the nards for being such nerds. Get the hell out of the back of the bus and move back up front where you belong!

Bug said...

damn it ...

what the hell is a houdini?

ceymick said...

head over to www.dirtyslang.com to educate yourself...

rooni said...

Wow.

I don't know if I'm impressed or horrified. ;)

...when I typed that first sentence, I meant to type "impressed" but when I re-read it, I realized that I'd actually typed "depressed." I guess that answers that.

rooni said...

P.S. I'm in Sacramento right now in a hotel room. While watching some morning CNN, I saw a commercial for Aspercreme... but the new jingle has the lyrics "You bet, if it's Aspercreme!"