Tuesday, April 11, 2006

it happened again

I got pulled over by the fuzz again last night on my way home. Here's the way the conversation went:

Officer: You have a headlight out.
Me: I know. (reaches into back seat) Here's the replacement bulb. I just bought it yesterday. Here's the receipt if you want to see that I really did get it yesterday.
Officer: Oh, no problem. Do you have your license?
Me: Sure. (hands over license. Officer then stares at it for a bit.)
Officer: This is you?
Me: Yep. It's an old picture and I shaved my head.
Officer: Hm ....... yeah, okay. I see it. Alright, well you have registration and insurance, right?
Me: Yeah. Here's my registration. I don't have my new insurance card in my wallet yet, though.
Officer: That's okay. When you were getting out your license, I saw your insurance card in your wallet. Let me just go take a look at your registration to make sure you're not an axe murderer.
Me: Okay! (nervous laughter) (Officer goes to his car and comes back a moment later)
Officer: Okay, boss. You're all set. Get that light fixed.
Me: Will do! (I drive off.)

So, to recap: I got pulled over for having a headlight out and didn't have proof of current insurance. Additionally, I'm completely unshaven, wearing a skull and crossbones t-shirt, 40 lbs heavier and 6 years older making me apparently unrecognizable from my license photo, and the back seat of my run down Camero is so messy that I look like an axe murderer/hermit. Still, my freakin' luck with the Police is such that I drive off without so much as a fix it ticket.

I am very worried that my luck is going to run out soon in a big way. Sooner or later I'm going to lose my wallet and drive without insurance or registration into the middle of a Police funeral and it'll be all over for me.

And when that happens, I don't think any of my friends will feel bad for me. They'll simply feel that I finally got what I deserved.


EmoRiot said...

I'm hoping every time I see a police chase now that you're leading the way - somehow a victim of a misunderstanding that leads to a chase, a clubbing, and very televised arrest.

"A suspected Axe-murdering hermit taken in today after a leading police on a multi-state chase. Officers first suspected the man of stealing the green camaro seen here, later realizing that it was in fact his own vehicle. Police Comissioner Wiggum offered his fullest apology for the chase, the beating, the arrest, the taser, the beating using the discharged taser housing, the body cavity search, the leg hobbling, the bean-bag bullets, the real bullets, the k-9 team, and time spent in a holding cell with Fist. Friends and family of the man, however, asked for no such apology - saying they thought 'justice had been served.'"

rooni said...

=( I really hope you don't get beaten. That thought makes me incredibly sad.