big = art

It's as simple as that. Go into any modern art museum and you'll quickly realize that anything that's over 5 feet tall can be called art. I think it has something to do with a human need to feel dwarfed and insignificant next to the huge stature of our own creations. The Pyramids, the cathedrals and castles of Europe, the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, the Mall of America ... we've been absolutely transfixed as a species by Big for thousands of years.

So, for those who are looking for a career change, I now present Jesse Harlin's Guide to Becoming a Famous Artist.

1. Get a really large workspace. You're going to need lots of room for all of the big things you're making. Try finding one with lots of windows for natural light and to let out any potential fumes from your paint/ceramic firing/arc-welding/whatever. Try here for large work spaces.

2. Start looking for something small that you can make a large version of. Really anything will do. Like I said, it just needs to be bigger than 5 feet tall. Now, I would actually caution you against going over 12 feet tall since you'll limit the ability to have your big things put in small rooms.

3. For god's sake, put your big things in a city somewhere! Nothing will make you go from hip urbanite up-and-coming artist to crazy midwest kook faster than your massive statue of a coffee pot sitting out in the middle of nowhere.

So, that's it. Do those three things and you'll be famous. Want some inspiration?

- Building blocks? Too small. But, make them big and you have yourself a museum piece, Johnny!

- "Clothespins are small and stupid. I'd never become famous with a clothespin," I hear you say. Wrong!!

- "That stuff's all sculpture, dude. Stop showing me sculpture, you big sculpture-shower." Fine!

You get the point. Big = art. Plain and simple.