Monday, October 02, 2006

random thoughts on weddings

We're all caught up with Lost now. We watched the tail end of Season 2 this weekend, and although the middle of the season was pretty slow, I still dug it. We tackled some more wedding stuff this weekend including attending a tasting at a caterer. I was a fan of the food and would be fine if we went with them. We're also pretty decided now on the guest list, the registry, and we're beginning to get a handle on the decorations for the place. So, things are moving along well.

The thing that was driven home to me this weekend was how lucky Amanda and I are to be a typical engaged couple. San Francisco is a very liberal area and it's great that it's such a homosexual-friendly place to try and have a commitment ceremony (if not a wedding just yet). Still, we were first-hand witnesses at the caterer tasting to the annoyance that must constantly plague same sex couples during the engagement process. There was a lesbian couple sitting at our table with us and they were being told by the woman running the entire event that they can accommodate anything that "the bride or groom wants."

It instantly made me realize how frequently they must be told things like "Oh, and we can get you a great discount on tuxes for your groom and groomsmen." or the even worse "So, where's the groom?" when meeting new vendors for the first time.

That kinda' sucks. I mean, I suppose it sucks for the vendors too because they're the ones actually putting their foot in their mouth, but still - the couple has to go through this over and over again. All bridal planning books are written with lists for "Bride's To-Do List" and "Groom's To-Do List." It's annoying enough for me just being a groom and reading through these books where they all assume that only the bride will ever read anything in them:

"So here it is. The big day you've dreamed about since you were a little girl and married your stuffed teddy bear." Or whatever.

By the way, most of the books I've seen that are written to the groom perspective read like this:

"Yo, here's some advice. Whatever she wants, she's gonna get. So just stay out of the way."

It's lame. No one expects the groom to be interested at all in any planning aspects of the wedding. Maybe most aren't. But, maybe more would be if they felt like they were welcome to actually take part in the planning.

Anyway, I'm rambling now and I gots me some work to go do.


rooni said...

You are deeply involved with the planning of our wedding, and I love that you are.

Still, even you will take nearly every opportunity to crack a joke or make fun of the whole wedding tradition (e.g. while I was trying to get you to think about what kind of officiant we were going to look for, you decided to try to sell me on having a fat man in spandex do an interpretive dance pre-wedding for our guests).

And don't forget that I'm not even your "typical bride," because I have not dreamed through every step of my future wedding since childhood.

Can you imagine the combination of (a) a bride who has dreamed about her "Special Day" for her entire life, and (b) a guy who makes fun of every detail of wedding tradition? I'm sure that that combo represents at least 75% of engaged couples in the US.

Don't you think I gag when books remind me not to worry, because My Special Day will be everything I've ever dreamed of? The grass is not necessarily greener on the girls' side. They're just selling something, and they think the girl is more likely to buy. Remember, they want us both to believe that our wedding should cost at least $30,000. Lame!

Bug said...

Fair enough. : ) good to know it seems lame to you too sometimes.

And I still stand by my interpretive dance idea. that and the idea where everyone in the crowd wears really wide styrofoam hats that will rub together while they sit through the ceremony and make annoying SQWEE SQWEE SQWEE noises, making everyone uncomfortable and try to sit perfectly still while we then have them sit through a ridiculous interpretive dance.

Man, that'd be a helluva wedding ...