This year, after losing every single shot it's had at a championship sports team for 23 years, Philadelphia has its best shot ever at claiming the title in something.
"Oh really?" I hear you ask. "Which team rox so hardcore that you're putting your complete lack of any credibility with sports on the line, Harlin?" To wit I say: it's not a team. It's a statue.
You see, my brother and I - not ones to jump on the "our city needs a sports curse!" bandwagon - had long ago decided that the reason Philly hasn't won sports championship since 1983 is due entirely to the snooty fucks at the Philadelphia Museum of Art. For, it was in 1983 that the Art Museum counsel of elders or someshit voted to remove the statue of Rocky Balboa from the Art Museum steps where he belongs to the relative obscurity of hanging out in the shadow of The Spectrum.
Anyway, anyone not from Philly who's reading this is saying "the who? The wha?" about a billion times so far, so I'll wrap this up. Suffice it to say that The Philadelphia 76ers were the last team to win a championship title and they did so in 1983, the same year Rocky left his proper home.
Finally, with the return of another Rocky film, the statue is returning to the art museum where he belongs. So, hopefully this means that we'll have a sports team that decides they'd like to finally win something this year. We'll see what happens. If Ry and I are right and Philly wins something, we rule. If we're wrong, it was a stupid theory anyway.
But if we're right, we so rule.