Most spam email seems to come to me in one of two flavors. Either the subject line is honest about what it's trying to sell and says something like "Meds from Canada!" or "Replica Rolexs - CHEAP!" or they say something in complete nonsense like "argeoh" or "vindicer." Of course, I would lump porn spam like "Angelina Jolie naked!" into the "selling something" category and between porn mail, watch replica mail, medicine mail, and nonsense, that seems to cover 99% of the crap that I get here at work.
Recently, though, a new assault by image spam has been slipping its way past the Lucasfilm spam filters and one of the spammers seems to be ... different. This spammer must be new. Some kind of spam virtuoso. His subject lines are vaguely intriguing in the way that video titles on Break.com are intriguing. On Break, I have no qualms about clicking on something labeled "Bleachers Collapse at Columbian Bull Fight." And so, when I see spam labeled something like "Baby born with seven toes" or "Tornado!", it speaks to that same part of my brain that searches Break for faceplant videos.
Today I had three messages. The first two were trying to sell something with subjects that read "That's great!" and "Macho Man." The third one, however, must have come from this virtuosic spammer. It's definitely part of that remaining 1% of spam that I just can't figure out at all. The subject read:
Bodyguards positioned outside Jolies vagina
The message itself just says "watch the video." Honestly ... what the hell? Why bodyguards? Are they trying to keep people out or in? I have to say, I'm almost train wreck/pogo stick accident/bat attack intrigued, but not quite.