Wednesday, December 06, 2006

stories from the train: frrt

At the Embarcadero BART station, the platform is dotted by these large, round marble benches for commuters to sit on while they await their trains. Most of the time I get down there, the benches are full of people and I end up standing. Monday night, however, I got down to the station just as a train had departed and so there was an open spot to sit. I sat down right next to this older guy - mid to late 50s - who had a bike leaning up against him.

Now, the seating was tight. Only about two inches separated his ass from my ass on the bench there. Not to mention, because the benches are circular, everyone's backs are angled towards each other a bit.

Anyway, there I am sitting contentedly waiting for my train and reading some billboard or something when I notice Old Bike Guy lean forward like he's going to stand up.

Only ... he doesn't stand up. Instead, he just stays bent over like that. Suddenly from right next to me I hear:

bbbbbbbbbrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPP!!

This gross old fuck farted right on me. He couldn't have aimed it at me any more if he'd gotten up, walked his ass right up to my face, and then let loose right there. No apology. No "oh my god .. I can't believe I just did that." Nothing. Just a massive raspy fart and then he straightened himself up again.

Other people suck.

4 comments:

rooni said...

That's disgusting.

Old Bike Guy said...

My farts smell like roses - you should consider yourself lucky, sonny!

EmoRiot said...

so so wrong...

Bug said...

Yeah. I'm just lucky I have such a terrible sense of smell. So ... thanks for that, Old Bike Guy.