Monday, December 11, 2006

stories from the train: anger management

I was waiting for the train home tonight, contentedly wasting my life playing Jewel Quest on my RAZR, when I noticed some guy pacing around the train platform. He was clearly some kind of "no one loves me/hugs me/calls me on my birthday" punk with a chip on his shoulder as well as in his paper bag he was carting around.

Angry Punk had a bike, a very conservative and completely not-punk blue roadbike, that was leaning up against a sign post. Again, I wasn't really paying any attention to anything other than Jewel Quest at this moment. Angry Punk just kept pacing until his bike suddenly fell onto the ground.

What happened next can only really be described as a shit fit. Angry Punk instantly ran up to his bike and started to kick it and punch it as it lay on the ground. All the while he was yelling "FUCKING BIKE! FUCKING NEVER ANYTHING BUT FUCKING TROUBLE! FUCK THIS THING!" At which point he then picked up the bike, lifted it over his head, and threw it onto the train tracks. "FUCKING BIKE! FUCK YOU! I WAS THINKING ABOUT WOMEN! THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FUCKING THINK ABOUT WOMEN ALL THE GODDAMN TIME!"

With his bike now laying on the train tracks and the train only moments away from arriving, he then proceeded to resume pacing around the train platform, this time muttering to himself. The only words that were understandable were either Fuck or Fucking. The rest was "mumble mumble FUCK mumble FUCKING mumble mumble" etc. After pacing and cursing for a little bit, Angry Punk then jumped down onto the train tracks, retrieved his bike, and then set about lovingly inspecting it to make sure it wasn't damaged.

I really didn't feel like being the one to him that his bike falling over was probably more a product of not having a kickstand than thinking about women all the time.

When the train finally arrived, he was very clearly talking to some kind of imaginary friend and the two of them were having a conversation about how strange it was that the train was going in the wrong direction. (I think he wanted to be on the northbound platform.)

When I got off the train four stops later, I was worried that he was going to say something to me while I waited to get off the train. Turns out, he was completely well behaved crazy angry punk guy. My guess is that he was back to thinking about women again. Strangely, though, the other guy standing behind me picked up where Angry Punk left off.

As the train pulled into the station, the guy behind me started to talk to himself saying "hehehe ... The train ... it just farted ... IT FAHTED .... ::imitation of hydrolic break sound:: ... hehehe ... it fahted ..."

I miss my car.

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