Tuesday, February 12, 2008

reason number two billion why Amanda rules

Story time: I got a friend request on Facebook about three weeks ago that really freaked me out. It was from someone I went to high school with - but not just any old person from high school, mind you. Someone who had ruthlessly bullied me for about a year solid. I didn't know this guy before hand and then, just one day out of nowhere, he started to bully me. We had study hall together and he used to sit there and spend the entire study hall making fun of me - mostly calling me gay and running through every derrogetory slur under the sun that falls into that vein. This is someone that I have always regretted not telling off and sticking up for myself against. Someone that really got under my skin and has stuck with me for 15 years.

So, when I got a friend request from him, I found myself instantly furious about it all again. What kind of an idiot sends a friend request to someone they bullied? Is he looking to bully me again? Is he a complete fucktard and just doesn't remember that we weren't "friends" in high school? What the hell is this guy's problem?

I quickly came to see this as an opportunity to tell him off about all of the stupid shit he said back in the day, a second chance to stand up for myself, and bring closure to a painful memory from the past. I thought of exactly how I'd chew this guy out. Thought of all the most painful things I could say. And yet, that same "Ignore them and they'll go away" advice that my mom raised me with came back and stopped me from writing anything rash.

A day or two of internal debate went by before I told Amanda about it, told her how tormented I was by the guy back in high school and how tormented I was now that I desperately wanted to rip him a new one for sending me a friend request. She hugged me and then said "Don't write anything. You're an adult now. Don't create adult problems over a childhood issue."

This wasn't the answer I wanted. I was hoping more for "Eff yes! Tell that asshat where he can stick it!" And while I didn't particularly like the advice she gave me, I still took it and ended up not writing anything back to the guy.

That brings me to today when I was cleaning up the living room in anticipation of my brother's pending visit. I picked up some books, took them over to the book shelf, and saw my yearbook sitting there. I decided to open it up and look up this jerk's senior portrait just to refresh my memory of how much I can't stand his stupid face.

One problem. The guy who sent me the friend request isn't actually the guy who bullied me in high school. Somewhere over the intervening 15 years, I've swapped his name with the name of this other guy who I never really knew at all, and who sent me a friend request three weeks ago.

Oops. If not for Amanda, I would have written a scathing email to a guy who wouldn't have had any idea what the hell I was insanely ranting and raving about. So, I approved the friend request this morning and chalked this up as just another reason why I'm lame Amanda rules.

3 comments:

EmoRiot said...

curious to know who you thought it was... hmmm... and who it actually was...

Seth said...

Yeah, what Ry said.

Bug said...

Yeah, well ... obviously I can't mention names on here. But feel free to email me if it's keeping you up at nights.