Thursday, November 08, 2007


I'm getting flashbacks of my late teens today. My sister is applying to college and, as everyone has to deal with during the process, she's in the midst of writing college admissions essays. I'm very appreciative that she trusts me enough to ask me to look her essay over and offer a critique.

But, man ... I had forgotten just how mind-numbing admission essays are. For those who don't remember, every college wants you to basically tell them how great their school is, how you've been dreaming of going there since before you could talk, and how - even though they're ridiculously close to Earthly perfection - the only thing that could possibly push them over the edge into actually being Heaven incarnate would be if they were to accept you.

"Since childhood, I have made it a personal goal to live each and every day by the three words that grow, shrink, and fade on the University of South Detroit's web page banner ad."

That kind of crap, a muddled diatribe about integrity, diversity, and about 4 different flavors of excellence. My sister is doing a great job jumping through the hoops so far, but the entire process just reeks of insincerity right now. In reality, it's very simple: they want her money and she wants a degree. I can see ass-kissing essays being an important part of admissions for places like Yale, Harvard, Stanford, etc. But University of Whereever, Iowa? Come on ...

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