So full of strange people ... so wonderful and beautiful in their circus-freak oddities. I took the train and the ghost train shuttle yesterday like always, but for some reason it was FULL of special, special characters yesterday. Here's a run-down of some of my favorites:
1. Surfer Man - This guy was on the shuttle to work in the morning. He was standing next to me having a conversation with Granola Woman about the benefits of various local farmers' markets. Without a doubt, the best thing about Surfer Man was his complete ability to go 10 seconds without saying the word "like." I swear to you, this is an actual quote:
"It's, like, so great that, like, there's like, you know, like, soooo many, like, different, like, kinds of, like, squash, like, you knooooow?"
It must be, like, so hard for, like, anyone to, like, knooooow anything this poor guy is saying at any given time.
2. Aging Goth Man - Dear Depeche Mode fans, I've found what you're going to look like in 20 years. And guess what? It's not pretty. On the train ride home, some guy who obviously hadn't been hugged enough or something got on the train sporting his highly sculpted, orange-dyed hair and museum of facial body modification. Apparently, this inspired nearby Aging Goth Man to strike up a loud conversation with him all about how he loved the other guy's hair and has been thinking for a while about laminating his hair with some kind of heat activated plastic whatnot. Problem is, Aging Goth Man's sorta' gray hair was in some kind of state of strategically shaved/weirdly balding mass exodus. Basically he just looked like he'd be hit full-on in the face with a mid-life crisis and was pioneering some sort of Punk Rock Combover. I don't think it's going to catch on, laminated or not.
3. (and my favorite) Crazy OCD Woman - Yes, Crazy OCD woman got on the train at the same stop as Aging Goth Man. She proceeded to sit right in front of me, so I was privy to a fair amount of her crazy. First, she took the newspaper that was folded under her arm and proceeded to unfold sheet after sheet and blanket the train seat with them, all the while smiling this huge "Look at me!!!!" grin and trying to make eye contact with everyone around her. After she had safely shielded herself from the dirt of the train seat, she sat down (still making eye contact and smiling at everyone around), began mumbling to herself, and then leaned up against the unpapered window and train wall - which I can only assume is actually dirtier than the seat because of contact with everyone's hands.
Anyway, the grand finale came a few stops later she started to loudly mumble the words "Just in case" over and over again to herself. Interestingly, she then took out of her pocket a couple of folded one dollar bills, and handed them to Aging Goth Man (who was standing in front of her) and continued to say "Just in case. Just in case." He looked very confused by it all, but he took the money!
What the eff?! Who takes a crazy woman's money?
For all of its downsides, there's no denying that the train is always entertaining.