christ ...

It's been one fucking difficult week, and it's not even over yet. I haven't written at all because I honestly don't know how to put down what's been going on. Suffice it to say, there's some bad stuff going on in my family right now. Really bad stuff. Problem is, I'm not even sure I know how deep the bad actually goes. Unfortunately for me, that means that my imagination is running wild.

I'm not sleeping. I'm distracted at work. I spent Monday and Tuesday feeling like a zombie, got better by Wednesday, and then found out that things were worse than I originally thought and now I feel like a zombie again.

Amanda's been very helpful and has been trying to talk me through the jumbled mix of emotions I'm going through right now. Ry gets back from his whirlwind tour of the world today. I'm actually going to meet him at the airport between flights in order to just sit down and talk him through everything, since he's just getting back home to the situation now.

This sucks so bad.